he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
