Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize