Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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