Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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