drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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