Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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