Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
