I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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