Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Girls should come with a carfax report
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
