i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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