Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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