PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
