go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
