and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
