he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
