I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
