i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
