As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
