I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
