Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
