I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think your dad took our porno
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
