The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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