oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
