I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
