Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
