Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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