Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We have started to decorate penises.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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