I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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