There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
