My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I love having hate sex.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
