Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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