Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
