census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
