We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
