so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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