It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
