I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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