I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
