ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize