I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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