I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
handjob tips. give me some.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
