Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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