I love black thongs
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Who died my cat blue again?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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