im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
