am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
