I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize