I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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