did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
