Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
