he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
did you just send me my own nude
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
