He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
