You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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