You work out of a Hotel?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
