I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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