yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
