Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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