yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
