My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We talked him into tasing himself.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
