Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize