In the future we'll all be gay
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
