I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
